


Never Have I Ever

by Typhoon_56



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol, Bisexual Yaz, Drinking Games, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Mentioned River Song, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 16:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17686973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Typhoon_56/pseuds/Typhoon_56
Summary: The Doctor, Yaz and Ryan decide to get drunk and end up playing a game of Never Have I Ever.





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!!

'I can't believe you've never been drunk before!' 

'I've told you before Yaz, I don't like the taste alcohol so I never drank enough of it to get drunk.' The Doctor retorted, wishing that she hadn't said anything about her not drinking in the first place as the team returned to the Tardis. They had all just been to a planet that was known for its festivals and had discovered that the Doctor hadn't been drunk before. 

'Yeah but you don't drink alcohol for the taste do you?' Ryan said with a smirk as they all stood around the console, Graham raised an eyebrow in response and then began to wonder what his grandson's drinking habits were like. 

'Speak for yourself son. I used to brew my own because they tasted nice.' 

Ryan scoffed at this, 'But that's what old people do. And we ain't old like you.' A smirk appeared again as he said teased his grandfather. 

'Oi! Watch it you!' Graham exclaimed, pointing his finger at Ryan in warning but the smile that appeared on his face reduced the threats impact. The impact was reduced even further once a yawn crept upon Graham's face, 'Well in that case I'm going to bed to read my book since I'm so old.' Ryan rolled his eyes as his grandad repeated his own words. Graham then turned away from the console and walked toward the corridor before disappearing out of sight. 

'See ya later, old man!' Ryan shouted in the direction of the corridor before opening his backpack that was on the floor. He then started to pull out a few bottles of alcohol that they bought at the festival. The bottles were all clear and the liquid they contained inside appeared to glow blue and it was the colour that attracted Ryan to them the most. 

He handed a bottle to Yaz and kept one for himself before turning to the Doctor, 'So, wanna try some?' He asked before sitting down on the floor, Yaz quickly joining him. The Doctor pulled a face as she hesitated, 'I don't know, it doesn't seem fun to just sit here and drink.' She said, as she sat down before moving to sit crossed-legged. 

'Okay then, how about we make it a game?' Yaz offered, wanting to make the Doctor feel more comfortable. 

It appeared to have worked as the offer piqued the Doctor's interest, 'What sort of game?'

The trio went quiet for a moment as they thought of a game they could play. Ryan's eyes soon lit up as he came up with a suggestion that would fun, 'How about.... Never have I ever.' Yaz smiled at the game choice as it always revealed some good secrets, 'This should be good.' 

'How do you play?' The Doctor asked Yaz, unfamiliar with the Earth game. 

'It's simple. Someone says something they haven't done and if you have done it, then you drink. Got it?'

The rules were simple enough to follow so the Doctor nodded to show her understanding, 'Okay then. Sounds fun.'

Yaz grinned in excitement, 'I'll start. Never have I ever sneaked out when I shouldn't have.' She asked, scanning the others faces for their responses. The duo opposite Yaz both took a swig out of their bottles, with the Doctor scrunching her face slightly as the liquid burned her throat slightly whilst Ryan remained unaffected. 

'As if you never sneaked out before.' Ryan said, looking at Yaz in surprise. Yaz only shrugged before explaining, 'You've met my mum, if she found out I had gone out without her permission I would still be grounded to this day.' The others let out a chuckle at the thought of Yaz's mum being strict. 

Yaz then turned to the Doctor with a look of curiosity on her face, 'What did you sneak out for then, Doctor?' 

'I wanted to see a meteor shower when i was younger and the best place to see it was on a hill across the valley, I wasn't allowed to go out on my own though.' The Doctor said wistfully at the memory as she smiled to herself at the thought. 

Yaz smiled at the thought of the Doctor being a rebellious child, 'Not bad.'

Ryan smirked as he thought of his question, 'My turn, never have I ever stolen something.' He had chosen the question specifically for Yaz and began to laugh at her annoyed face, 'Come on PC Khan, get drinking.' Yaz glared at Ryan before taking a big gulp of her drink.

The Doctor gasped in shock at the revelation. 'Yaz! You stole something, I thought you were a police officer?' She questioned before taking a drink herself. 

Yaz was quick to try and defend herself, 'I am but I was a stupid kid once who was trying to impress my friends by stealing sweets from the corner shop.' She said, feeling a little embarrassed.

Ryan couldn't hold back his chuckle as he recalled the incident, 'I heard you got caught because you kept rustling when you walked.' Yaz then kicked Ryan with her foot in annoyance which just caused him to laugh once more. 

Yaz wanted to change the subject quickly so she could forget about that embarrassing mistake, 'Anyway, what about you Doctor? What did you steal?'

'Well I may have stolen the Tardis.' She confessed, sounding quite proud of herself.

'What!?' Ryan and Yaz exclaimed in unison.

'That's a lot worse than a bag of Haribos.' Yaz added, staring at the Doctor in disbelief at the idea that she would commit a crime as serious as that. 

'Hey! You weren't the only one who did dumb things when you were young.'

The two humans agreed about that as both had done some stupid things in the past, 'Okay, your turn now Doctor.' Ryan said. 

'Never have I ever...' The Doctor smiled brightly as she thought of an answer that she believed was being smart. '...gotten drunk before.'

Both Yaz and Ryan groaned at the obvious question as they took a swig out of their bottles, but Yaz wanted an actual question, 'That doesn't count. Do another one.'

The Doctor thought for a moment, tapping her bottle as she did so, 'Never have I ever ate something I regretted after.' _Of course the Doctor would choose a food related question._

Both Yaz and Ryan drank, 'Those kebabs we had the other week were pretty bad' 

Ryan winced at the memory, 'Don't remind me, I still feel sick thinking about it.' The duo had learned the hard way that going for a kebab at 2am with a stomach full of booze wasn't the best idea.

A confused look then appeared on Yaz's face, 'How do you not regret eating something, you should have? I've seen you eat dirt. Like, actual dirt from the ground and you're telling me that you don't regret that?' They had all lost track of the amount of times they had seen the Doctor eat random things they would find on their adventures for 'research' purposes. 

'Nope. Soil tastes quite nice actually.' The Doctor said matter-of-factly. 

'Wow you really are weird.' Ryan said laughing to himself as the alcohol was beginning to take effect, causing Yaz to smile into her drink as she took another gulp to catch up to Ryan. Her smile grew mischievous as she chose her next question, 'Never have I ever gone skinny dipping.'

Ryan laughed before shaking his head in response, 'Where could I have done that in Sheffield? It's freezing most of the time anyway.' It was a fair point since neither companion had the urge to swim outdoors, as it was always too cold or just plain unsafe.

'So I drink if I've done it right?' The Doctor questioned, forgetting the rules of the game as she got increasingly more inebriated.

'Yep' Yaz replied, emphasising the 'p' as she began to feel more than tipsy as well. The Doctor then took another drink from her bottle, causing her companions eyes to widen in surprise at the admission.

'Now this is a story we've gotta hear.' Ryan exclaimed. 

'There's this really nice lake on a planet called Atrian and I don't know, it just kinda happened.' The Doctor said nonchalant with a shrug of her shoulders, 'It wasn't my idea to go though' she admitted. 

'Who did you go with?' Yaz asked. 

'That wasn't part of the question.' The Doctor said with a grin, as she knew that withholding information would annoy her companions who were eager to learn more about the Doctor, it would annoy Yaz in particular though as being a police officer meant she was supposed to know all the facts. 

After it became clear the Doctor wasn't going to share that particular story Ryan decided to continue the game, 'Moving on...' Ryan then smirked, his eyes full of mischief, 'never have I ever had to cover up a love bite.'

Both Yaz and the Doctor blushed at the question, neither of them making eye contact as they both had a drink. 

Once again the Doctor's admission took the companions by surprise at they didn't expect the Doctor to do anything like that.

'No way! Not bad Doctor. Who was it from?'

'Nuh-huh. I don't kiss and tell' The Doctor said, shaking her head.

'If I tell you my story, will you tell us yours?' Yaz offered as a compromise.

'I'll consider it.'

Yaz took another sip of her drink for courage as she told her story, 'Okay I got a really bad one when I was 16 when I went a friends party. I may have been drinking a little and ended up making out with some randomer.'

'Who was it?' Ryan asked curiously. 

Yaz took a deep breathe to steady herself as she kept her eyes glued to the metal floor, 'Eve White.' She uttered quietly.

Ryan's eyes widened in disbelief, 'Eve White! As in the most popular girl in school who happened to also be the head girl? How have you not told me this before?' He asked, sounding a little hurt at the fact that Yaz never told him. 

'Somehow it never came up in conversation. Besides she just acted as if it didn't happen and was back with her boyfriend the next day.' Yaz sighed sadly at the thought.

'Ouch that's rough.' The Doctor chirped in. 

Yaz's mood quickly shifted as a smile grew on her face once more, 'Not really I ended up dating her brother for a while afterwards which she wasn't too happy about.' She said, laughing softly as she remembered the shocked look on Eve's face when she found out. 

'Wait how many people did you date without anyone finding out?' Ryan asked.

'Well there was Eve's brother, then Mark Wright in the year above us and then Ruby Johnson in our year.'

'Wow, you kept them quiet.' 

'I didn't want everyone to know my business that's all. Besides you're one to talk, how many girls did you convince to go out with you?' Yaz said teasingly.

Ryan held his hands up in defeat before addressing the Doctor, 'Okay fair enough. Now I believe Yaz has told her story and it's time for you to share yours.'

The Doctor sighed loudly before conceding, 'I guess it's only fair.'

'So I was invited to this very important ceremony held by the Rholian monks and I had to cover up a whole bunch of marks after my wife had paid me a visit and...'

The Doctor's story was suddenly cut off, 'Hang on, did you just say wife?!' Yaz exclaimed. 

'Probably should've mentioned that first huh?' The Doctor said, sounding rather sheepish as she began to pick at the label on her bottle nervously.

Ryan shook his head in disbelief, 'You think? I can't believe you're married' 

'Why not?' The Doctor asked curiously as she eyed the companions sitting opposite her. Yaz and Ryan gave each other an unsure glance as neither one of them wanted to answer. But Yaz decided to take the risk to answer, 'It's just that marriage is quite a normal thing to do and you're not exactly... traditional.' 

The Doctor pondered the thought for a moment and could see why her companions would think that. After all marriage was perhaps the only 'normal' concept that the Doctor agreed on. 

'Maybe not but I am married to a beautiful woman called River. And her and I had just come back from a date to Paris.'

'The city?' Yaz questioned. 

'No the planet' The Doctor said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

'It's an entire world based on the city from Earth. It was the perfect night, we had dinner and walked through the beautiful streets and once we got back to the Tardis... well umm... the night got a whole lot better if you know what I mean?'

Both companions were not expecting that response, Yaz just sat there speechless whilst Ryan actually spat out his drink in shock.

'Oh my god! We didn't need to know that' Ryan exclaimed.

'You asked how I got a love bite and I'm just answering the question.'

Ryan decided that this conversation was more than he wanted to know and stood up from where he was sitting on the floor and walked over to the console and leaned on it for support. 'Well I don't need to hear about your sex life thank you very much.' He said, turning to look at the Doctor who had now risen from the floor.

'In that case you probably don't want to lean on that console'

Ryan stilled and began to frown in confusion as he looked down at the seemingly harmless console. The Doctor then opened and closed her mouth like a fish, as she tried to think of the best way to make Ryan understand what she was trying to tell him.

'River wasn't exactly known for her patience, if you know what I mean?'

Ryan continued to frown as it took a few seconds for Ryan to understand what he'd been told, when suddenly it all became clear to him causing him to jump back from the console as if he had been scalded.

'Ewwww, I did not need to know that either.' He then looked around the room, now questioning how dangerous it was to move around, 'Is anything safe in here?'

The Doctor looked around the room and speaking with a reluctant sense of pride,  'Well...' she drew the word out, making the answer obvious. 

Ryan had heard enough at this point, 'That's it! I'm going to bed.' He said before turning to walk down the corridoor to his room. 

'You know that's what my wife said before we....' The Doctor teased.

'La la la la la la! I can't hear you.' Ryan said, sticking his fingers in his ears as if he was a child.

Yaz had gotten up from the floor and was now standing next to the Doctor as the watched Ryan disappear out of sight. Once he was definitely out of ears reach, Yaz turned to the Doctor with a grin on her face.

'You're winding him up aren't you?'

The Doctor turned and gave a devilish grin back as she chuckle softly.

'Little bit' 

The Doctor then started to head towards the corridor as well and was about to disappear around a corner, but stopped in the doorway to turn to Yaz once more.

'But I still wouldn't touch the console if I were you.'

Yaz then looked down and noticed that she had subconsciously been resting her hand on the console. As the Doctor's words sank in she quickly moved her hand and stared at the console in confusion as whether or not the Doctor's story was true. 

The Doctor just continued walking down the coridoor, the grin on her face widening as the memories of that night came flooding back.


End file.
